my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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