i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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