you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
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We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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