I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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