Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
