Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
