I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
