so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
