Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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