Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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