I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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