she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
