Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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