Jerry, you need to find god
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
