I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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