Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
