I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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