Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize