We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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