It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
