if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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