no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
