I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
