if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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