I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
