Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
