hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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