i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
