Sponge bath it is.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just googled if crying burns calories
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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