Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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