Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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