I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
