: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
