It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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