I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Randomize
