Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
