It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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