i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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