I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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