ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
