Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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