great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
