did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So here I am, sexting at work.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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