So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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