I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize