Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
