grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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