Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
