How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
