ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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