He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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