They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
