awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
