in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
