There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
