i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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