You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Randomize
