Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
