I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.