She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?