I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
