And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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