I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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