I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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