In the future we'll all be gay
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
