this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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