im about as happy as oj after his trial
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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