trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
