Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
